Introduction to Womanhood, by Lorreta Lynn

It's been five days now since my first egg. While I was under the impression I was a brown egg kinda gal, I discovered, to my shock, that I actually lay blue-green eggs. Luckily, there are no pigs here for the time being so my eggs may have a chance. I am not sure how it all works, though. If I don't sit on my eggs will they not hatch? Do I just sit on them for long periods of time and then they will hatch? What exactly does a rooster do and why isn't there one here? My eggs have also been mysteriously disappearing. This whole egg business if very strange.

I also discovered that while I had been told I was a pure-bred Brahma, the rumor in the coop is that I am actually a mutt. I heard two of the other girls talking last night on the roosting pole. June Carter said I am possibly a Brahma-Araucana mix. Devastating. The transition from being a girl to becoming a woman was enough for one week and now, this! Will my dignity ever be restored after such a revelation? Will I soil the good name of Lorretta Lynn with this indignity?

In the meantime, I continue to stay focused. My goal is to be the number one layer in the coop and it's gonna be stiff competition this winter. I get up early every morning to work out. I do a few pull-ups on the roosting pole, anywhere between 200 and 300 sit-ups, a morning and afternoon jog around the run and I lift weights five days a week. They key to fitness is the rest and recovery period. On those days, I go for a long walk and stretch well. I also try to watch what I eat and I do yoga and pilates for my core strength and flexibility.

How Many Eggs Do They Need?

33 eggs so far. I have been cooped up now for almost two months. While the people let me out once in a while to forage for tasty snacks I still have to sleep in a confined space with five other smelly women who poop on the floor continuously. Loretta once made a break for it and was free for over a day. She magically appeared back in the yard. She was very frazzled and was missing quite a few of her feathers. She reported that it was hell being out on her own. Everyday I wake up, hoping today will be the day that I find freedom. The thought of endless supplies of worms and bugs. Having a man back in my life. Being free from the confinement and oppression of living in these conditions. Feeling the breeze in my feathers as I run with no fences in sight, no coop to remind me of my captivity.